The Silence is Deafening

Its been 2 weeks since my dear nan passed away and the silence is deafening. The almost daily calls have stopped, her familiar strict tone asking me what I am having for dinner is no more, our once a week arguments over maids and her gargantuan knowledge of food and recipes is something that I will never hear again.

I have been on a great journey with the lady - she has lived with us, she helped to bring us up, she made our dog a smoker, she commented on everything but she was always generous about everything even to the point of keeping one piece of chocolate for me, tightly wrapped in reynolds wrap and a plastic bag.

I keep expecting her to call. I keep thinking that she is still at home trying to figure out the remote control, watching cooking shows on suria, copying everything down and locking them away. I keep thinking that my phone will ring and I will hear another complaint or another "What did you have for dinner." I keep thinking that the phone will ring with countless advice on how to take care of Caitlin whom she never met but I can safely say will always be watching over her.

I will miss my nan terribly. I will miss her christmas madness of achar, curry powder and her harrasing baca (her curry powder man). I will miss her food, her recipes, her ideas. Most of all I will miss the most distinctive part of her - her voice and her heart.

But despite feeling sad, I looked around my uncles and cousins and I realise that she will never be truly gone because we all have something of her. My mother and I put our hands on our chin when we are thinking just like her, roger and cliff are just as fussy as her, Kristen I think has the same strong character as her and we ALL know how to make her achar.

So this blog is for my dear nan - one helluva woman who lived a roller coaster ride of a life - which is just the way it should be.