The Silence is Deafening

Its been 2 weeks since my dear nan passed away and the silence is deafening. The almost daily calls have stopped, her familiar strict tone asking me what I am having for dinner is no more, our once a week arguments over maids and her gargantuan knowledge of food and recipes is something that I will never hear again.

I have been on a great journey with the lady - she has lived with us, she helped to bring us up, she made our dog a smoker, she commented on everything but she was always generous about everything even to the point of keeping one piece of chocolate for me, tightly wrapped in reynolds wrap and a plastic bag.

I keep expecting her to call. I keep thinking that she is still at home trying to figure out the remote control, watching cooking shows on suria, copying everything down and locking them away. I keep thinking that my phone will ring and I will hear another complaint or another "What did you have for dinner." I keep thinking that the phone will ring with countless advice on how to take care of Caitlin whom she never met but I can safely say will always be watching over her.

I will miss my nan terribly. I will miss her christmas madness of achar, curry powder and her harrasing baca (her curry powder man). I will miss her food, her recipes, her ideas. Most of all I will miss the most distinctive part of her - her voice and her heart.

But despite feeling sad, I looked around my uncles and cousins and I realise that she will never be truly gone because we all have something of her. My mother and I put our hands on our chin when we are thinking just like her, roger and cliff are just as fussy as her, Kristen I think has the same strong character as her and we ALL know how to make her achar.

So this blog is for my dear nan - one helluva woman who lived a roller coaster ride of a life - which is just the way it should be.

A BIG THANK YOU!

The last time I blogged was 23 May 2006! To think that it was the day that our gorgeous baby girl Caitlin was born. Edward has already blogged on everything related to her birth and her stay in her new home so I thought that this blog would be to express our overwhelming gratitude at the swarm of help, advice, food, presents and visits that are coming our way.

My dear moo for staying with me, advising me and forcing me to drink that damn brands essence of chicken and milk with glucose! Also for all the night feeds and most importantly the company and reassurance! Can you stay forever?

My dear doo for being mr. logistics! Support staff of the century has to go to my dad who has shuttled food and atun almost everyday so that Edward and I have nutritious meals and the house is cleaned. Who can forget the 1 kg of beef stew and the massive pot of chicken stew? We were eating it for days!

My dear mother in law who made my favourite dish bee hoon for me - one big pot of it as well as roast for her son which we have also been eating for days! Added with it her visits that also gave me reassurance especially from such an expert!

Ally who has graciously entertained all my calls and sms for help and advice! Another expert! I have no idea what I would do without her calm and positive attitude! All I can say is thank god for that steriliser she gave us! Its life saving!

BIL who sent us to the hospital calmly all the way asking if I was experiencing contractions yet! And for the lovely tea of apple strudel, eclairs and cheesecake!

Me ol sis who spends her free time here helping me to bathe and clean (yes clean) the baby, all the while screaming "oh my god thats disgusting how did it get on her feet!"
And Jamie and Dolce for being so gracious about the amout of time she spends here!

My aunties Em and Di! As usual, they were the most excited and always so generous! I have been fed with everything from chicken rice (the chilli cuka brought on my labour!), to biscuits and soup from marks and spencer, all kinds of fruit, clothes and accesories for the baby, visits and a lot of gossip which always makes for a good day!

My Godpa and auntie jack who made for me kiam chye soup and chilli pork and asam pedas, plus gave a block of cheese to Edward (his favourite - the blue box kraft), visited us along with barry and eileen and a marvellous dessert called baked alaska!

Fiona, Cliff and Jasmine and their lovely gifts from Bonds and the always needed pampers!

Debbie for the lovely rose bath from marks and spencer and body shop. It was the first thing I used when I got home to bathe! Then accompanied with the rose powder, I felt as good as new after 3 horrendous days of not bloody bathing!

And of course all the phone calls from my in laws - Pat (who always makes me laugh because she was busy talking about her trip to south dakota, dogs and kids), Jocelyn and Andrew.

But I think the greatest thank you would have to go to my dear husband who has been the most supportive person ever! He is extremely patient with all my emotional outbursts, the late night feedings so I can sleep, and his always optimistic self that perks up my day and makes me very happy especially his jokes!

Thats all I can think of at the moment and I will continue tommorrow!